The King Asked The Queen And ...

... And The Queen Asked The Dairymaid

It's one of those things when you book a tour. You never quite know what you're going to get. I guess that's why you tend to go for an Intrepid tour or an AAPT tour or a G Adventures tour. You know what to expect, and its looked after by one company. But I saw this tour online, and it seemed to fit what we wanted to see perfectly, so even though I didn't recognise the tour company, I booked it. Now let me be perfectly clear - it's been terrific, we've had a great time, and we'd recommend it. However, it's all kind of outsourced, and cobbled together, which is exactly why it looked perfect.

Just occasionally you have some nervous moments. For example - Eclipse Travel in Australia sold us the tour. It's a combined Cuba and Mexico tour, so they outsourced the Cuba portion to Green Alligator tours, a Swiss company who runs Cuba tours, and the Mexico portion to Mexellence. Green Alligator gave us one tour guide for our entire stay - a personal tour - and it went like clockwork. Mexellence outsourced the Mexico City days to one company, the Villahermosa days to a second, the Merida day to a third, and the Cancun day to a fourth - Vamos Travel. They then sent regular taxis to the airport to pick us up. The taxis kept asking us the name and address of our hotels, which was unexpected until we figured the system out, and had the address ready in advance.

Take today for example. A guy arrived at our hotel about the right time. Turned out that he was a Grey Lines tour driver, and Vamos Travel had merely booked us on a regular Grey Lines day tour to Chichen Itza, so we piled on the tour bus. The driver told us that he would take us to Chichen Itza, but another bus would take us from there to Tulum in the afternoon and drop us in the city where we would find a taxi to our hotel. "No", I said. "My hotel transfer is included". He showed me his paperwork which said it wasn't. I showed him my paperwork which said it was.

So Grey Lines rang Vamos, and Vamos rang Mexellence. Mexellence wasn't answering their 24 hour emergency help line. Maybe the emergency help line only works during business hours. Eventually our driver said that there would be someone at Tulum to pick us up, and off we went.

We got to Chichen Itza, and the tour guide announced that he had 'a situation'. He'd left his guide pass at home, so he found another Grey Line guide to take us around for the day. When it was time to leave, we were passed to another Grey Line bus to go to Tulum. But he was met by a mini bus halfway there, and the four of us bound for Tulum were separated and given to another driver, who knew nothing about us being picked up. He told us we'd have to get a taxi. "No", I said. "Yes", he said. To his credit, he rang Vamos and Vamos may have tried to ring Mexellence, and he then waited with us in the shopping centre carpark in the rain until somebody rang back to say a car was on its way. Eventually the car turned up, and we headed off to the hotel - "What's the name of your hotel? Do you know the address?"

It was 7:30 pm before we eventually arrived, and we calculated that it had taken four drivers and three guides to get us here. Did I mention that they all expected tips? Now, we saw everything we signed up for, and it was all lovely, but it didn't feel very seamless.

Anyway, today is meant to be about Chichen Itza, which is famous for three reasons. Firstly because it's meant to be one of the seven modern wonders of the world (but everybody makes up their own list), secondly because 5000 people a day visit it so it must be famous, and thirdly because it's the only tourist destination in Mexico that is pronounced the same way as it's spelt.

The vendors had the spruiking down pat. T-shirts were "One dollar. One dollar. OK, two for a dollar". Bags were "One dollar. One dollar. Almost free." Jade masks were "One dollar. One dollar. Cheaper than Wal-Mart". Necklaces were "Hey big spender. Buy something for your wife. No? How about your neighbour's wife?"

Saw another ball court. Seems this was the site of the regional finals. The All-Star Game if you like - minus the winning captains of course.

Our Grey Lines tour guide (the substitute one) was very experienced (read, very old) and had done this tour every day for the last 20 years, so he was in autopilot mode. We got a huge number of facts and figures thrown at us in a well rehearsed patter, interspersed with "Over here please" "Hurry up please" "Don't talk to the vendors please" as he marched us around.

Later on, in the bus as we got close to our final destination, he asked us to clap him, and beseeched us to tip him so he could pay his income tax !?!

Where was I. Oh yes, Chichen Itza. Another Mayan city, dug out of the jungle, and nicely restored. As they said all the time in Cambodia - "Same, same, but different". Despite the number of tourists about, it was in a really nice setting amongst lots of trees, and lovely to walk around, but we'd heard about the hieroglyphics, solstices, equinoxes and serpent myths every day for the last week, so we were rather Mayan'd out. Nevertheless, if you hadn't been to five sites and a museum in six days, it would be a great experience.

Got to our beachfront hotel as the last rays of the sun were disappearing, but still had to have our walk along the beach before unpacking. A happy wife, and all that. The sand is very white and soft. Much softer than Australia. However, the wind is blowing quite fiercely. I'm sure that the mosquitoes took off from Cuba only five minutes ago.

The room is lovely, and looks out on the pounding waves. There is no door on our bathroom. I could decide to tell you that, for some reason unknown to anybody on this planet, Mandy decided that humming 'La Cucaracha' would be our signal that the toilet was in use, but that would be far too much information for you.